into his culture in order not to suffer from culture shock. I had to
learn the language and I took the integration exam. Now I speak Dutch
very well. I am very comfortable with the language. I go wherever my
husband goes. I am not the type that says we should live apart. No
matter how much money I have, I want my
family to live under one roof.
There is nothing unique about marrying a foreigner. He is just like
every other man. It is not that I have always dated a foreigner. I had
dated Nigerian men and other Africans. Men will always be men, no matter
the colour of their skin, origin or physical features. If a man needs
attention, you will give him the attention. A man’s needs are the same
everywhere. Now, my home is Holland. I have to be very partial. That is
where I want my children to grow up. Education in Holland is free and it
is standard. There are no separate schools for the rich or the poor. I
bring my children home often. I want them to know their African
that of my colleagues whose marriages broke up. Nobody prays to have a
broken marriage. No woman wishes to get married and watch it break up
after some years. I don’t make fun of situations that I don’t even
understand. In my own case, it is just God that has sustained my
marriage. I might sound old fashioned, but it is just God that has done
it for me. He knows everybody. In every challenging situation, He will
always tell you what to do. I read all books about marriage, but it
doesn’t work that way. You have to go into a marriage with an open mind
and then make the best situation out of anything you see in it.
is all about challenges. I learnt that one does not have to run away
from anything that is thrown at him. If you run, the challenge will
still be there. On the night that the pictures were published, four
popular actors came to my house with a car and said I should pack my
things and go to Ghana. They said I should stay there until the crisis
died down. But I told them I wasn’t going to run. I didn’t do anything
wrong, so why should I run? I didn’t kill anybody. I am not a criminal.
Many politicians are stealing our money and making a mess of our
country, yet they come out with bold faces. So why should I run?
Somebody offended me and you want me to run? The actors were shocked
with what I was saying. I told them I wasn’t going to run and that all I
needed was their prayers. I don’t think I know where that courage came
from, but I think my father’s spirit was with me. My father told me he
loved me. I am tough. I had to practice what I preached. A lot of people
thought that crisis would break my toughness. You can bring me down,
but you can’t break me. You are not my creator. My life is in the hands
of God. It was just God that gave me the strength.
holier-than-thou attitude. But mine kept telling me how much they loved
me. They stood by me. It was one of the things that kept me going. Some
people said I married the man because of the scandal. Only time will
tell. Immediately I became an actress, I knew I had forfeited my
privacy. Time will tell if my marriage will be successful. I am only
enjoying what I have in my hands. I am enjoying my family.
that scandal and I become very sad. It has become part of my personal
history now. There is no way anybody will mention Anita Hogan and that
scandal will not be remembered. But it depends on the angle you look at
it. My children will hear it. Even my grandchildren will hear it and say
their grandma is a ‘hot’ mama. What if I hadn’t married the same guy?
We were just two people fooling around in our privacy. Should other
people have told us how to sit down in our home? It depends on the angle
you look at the scandal. That is why I want to write my book. Many
people are psychologically and emotionally harassed. My own case was
harassment from the pit of hell. Some people need encouragement. They
are not as tough as I am. I want my book to touch people who are being
harassed. No matter how much you have been pushed, you can get your life
the street and I don’t touch you or hit your car and you just stare at
me, it is your business. Nigerians respect other people’s’ privacy. I
was brought up to understand that stares will not tear your cloth.
Embarrassment will not tear your cloth. It is good to live a perfect
life, if you can achieve it. But if it doesn’t happen, there is nothing
you can do but to move on with your life. I have forgiven the guy that
published those pictures. In fact, I forgave him that first week. My
pastor called and said I should forgive. He said I should just kneel
down and say ‘I forgive him.’ I didn’t know how to do it. I thought it
wasn’t going to be possible. But somehow, I did it. I have forgiven him.
remarried. I was their only child. I chose to live with my dad because
he had money. I chose him because of the comfort. I have a very
wonderful relationship with my stepmother. I am closer to her than my
biological mother. It might be because I stayed more with her. In spite
of the fact that my parents had a misunderstanding, they saw to my
and a master’s degree in International Law and Diplomacy. My father said
I should pursue my dream. He had wanted me to work with the government.
He said it was pensionable. Also, he wanted me to be an athlete. But my
heart always leaned towards the arts.